With apologies to the late James W. Best for appropriating his image (from his 1935 Forest Life in India)

Saturday, 28 December 2013

See Delos and Die

Of all guides to the Greek Islands, this 1963 Collins offering is one of the first and best:


Bradford sailed a small boat around the Ionian and Aegean seas in the 1950s, before the days of mass tourism, and his love for the islands and their people is unabashed. As he puts it, 'The islands... are more than a geographical entity. They are a climate of the heart.' Mass tourism may have alleviated poverty on the islands, but it is hard not to envy Bradford when he talks about having the tiny island of Delos, the birthplace of Apollo at the centre of the Cyclades, more or less to himself, allowing him to soak in its atmosphere almost alone. Here is his description of the marble lions that guard the Sanctuary of Apollo there: 'Against a sky of blinding blue the lions shout into the wind...Their open mouths, in contrast with their white heads and bodies, seem like tarry caverns from which only the deepest of voices could issue. They roar above the shining ridge and their flanks lean to the dry earth achingly, as though they hungered for dampness and rain.' Visit Delos today and you must share it with hundreds of other tourists, and queue to climb the summit of Mount Cynthus, from where you have the most magnificent view of the surrounding islands and sea. The Sacred Way up to the summit takes you past shrines to the Syrian goddess Astarte and the Egyptian god Isis. Indeed the whole island groans under the weight of ancient temple ruins. Or as Bradford more eloquently puts it, Delos 'is a navel of light, where one can feel the pulse of life that sustains the world'.

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Animal Magic

Just as there are three kinds of people in this world - those who can count, and those who can't (the old ones are the best) - so there are three kinds of books on my shelves: those I've read; those I've not read yet but are on my 'to read' list; and those I haven't read and never will read. Why don't I get rid of the latter? Because they cunningly hide themselves on my 'to read' list. Actually I've just thought of a fourth category: books I dip into occasionally but never read right through. Here's an example:


It was published in 1959 by our old friend Frederick Muller Ltd (see my Worth Fighting For July 13th, 2013 entry), who went on to publish the first Doctor Who books (before they suffered the usual fate and were swallowed up by a bigger publisher - see http://www.isfdb.org/wiki/index.php/Publisher:Frederick_Muller_Ltd). It has derivative chapters on all the usual things, like elephant graveyards, the Loch Ness Monster and the Abominable Snowman. Typically, I bought it for the charming cover. That was in pre-internet days, when one had to get off one's backside and hunt books down. Now, if I wished, I could buy its predecessor with a few clicks of a mouse...


But I'd much rather stumble across it one day in some dingy secondhand-book shop.

Friday, 13 September 2013

Pigsticking, Anyone?

Quite a few rants ago (Shot Down in Flames, April 7th) I commented on the absurd number of non-fiction titles published on the same tired old subjects. One inevitable result of this, due solely to the ignorance of publishers, is that many such titles are hopelessly out of date. It is quite extraordinary, for example, the number of angling guides that are published that still recommend fibreglass rods, when fibreglass as a rod-building material was superseded by carbon fibre in the early 1980s. Occasionally one comes across a book that is not so much out of date as completely out of time, and one wonders how the hell it ever came to be published. One such is this offering, with two chapters on pigsticking by Brigadier C. R. Templer, published in 1973 by the aptly named London outfit Gentry Books, which I picked up cheap in Exeter one time:

What on earth were Gentry thinking of? Who did they think was going to buy the book, other, perhaps, than Prince Philip? Dead people? Unsurprisingly, my copy is stamped ‘Withdrawn from Devon Library Services’. I suspect it was donated to them by the author himself. Born in Assam in 1898, Major-General James Gordon Elliott was an Indian Army man until his compulsory retirement in 1948 following Indian independence the year before. In his later years he settled in Exmouth, where he penned this guide, which is actually a pretty good one, but just so wonderfully anachronistic. 

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

Such Sweet Sorrow...

Someone in an online forum thread about ‘tackle tarts’ – anglers who always have to have all the latest gear – made the very good point that life is short and you can’t take it with you, so why not treat yourself to the best you can afford? Presumably, like most tackle tarts, he flogs his old gear or stores it away in his loft, but a much better use for it is to pass it on. It’s the same with books. Much as I like the idea of being buried with my rods and books ‘for use in the next life,’ every now and then I much more sensibly have a good clear-out, even of some old favourites. It’s hard to let go of things that are precious – very hard – but they are only things. My kids get whichever books they want, and my son in particular is now building quite an impressive library of his own. As for fishing tackle, I confess I still have a loft full of the stuff, despite occasionally selling bits off second-hand. Really, I must do better. Unlike some, I’m far too selfish to actually give up my time to take people with special needs fishing, but I did once pass on a redundant rod and reel to such a lad who was mad keen on fishing and the delight on his face made me feel ten feet tall.

Monday, 12 August 2013

Down to Earth...

I was in a secondhand-book shop the other day rummaging semi-blindly – it was a dark and dingy place, and having just stepped out of the rain I was having trouble with my glasses steaming up – and I was just wondering to myself why all the stock seemed to be priced (in pencil) at £10.00 when I spotted an unassuming-looking volume called Spies and Saboteurs priced at ‘£1 .00’. Note the space between the 1 and the decimal point. A quick scan of the first few pages was enough to tell me it would be an instant addition to my ‘Best Books Ever Read’ list and I went straight downstairs to pay for it. The owner looked at the price inside and hesitated, but it wasn’t me who had rubbed out the 0 (honest) and he had no choice but to charge only the one pound for it. Anyway, what about the actual book? Published by Gollancz in 1955, it is American psychologist William J. Morgan’s account of assessing OSS (Office of Strategic Services) candidates in England in WWII. Successful candidates were parachuted into France as... spies and saboteurs. Written in wonderfully plain English – one chapter is headed ‘Minefield and Acid Bath’ – it is a fascinating insight into how the brightest and bravest can make fools of themselves when tested under pressure. It is also full of amusing anecdotes. My favourite is how they early on identified one candidate as a German spy, strung him along for months on end then, when they finally dropped him over France, ‘forgot’ to attach his ripcord to the fixing-point in the plane… My copy of the book doesn’t have one, but this is what the dust jacket looked like:


(Apologies for the quality of the pic, but it was the only one I could find online.)

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Rights and Wrongs

Someone who shall remain nameless once emailed me with a ‘great idea’ for a book and listed the proposed contents. Unable to tell whether it was supposed to be fiction or non-fiction – no, really – I asked them. ‘I don’t know,’ they replied. ‘What’s the difference?’

A friend of a successful writer friend once badgered her to read the manuscript of their ‘first novel’. Foolishly she agreed. It was irretrievably bad, but of course she couldn’t say that, so she tactfully suggested 'a few changes'. When it was duly rejected by all and sundry, the author blamed my friend for her 'editorial interference’.

Someone else once sent me the manuscript of a non-fiction title together with proposed illustrations, many of which they had simply found online. When I told them it would be essential for them, as the author, to secure the image rights, they poured scorn on my advice and totally ignored it. (I was right.)

The reason why so many people outside publishing think they know more about the industry than those inside it is simple. They look at how little those inside the industry are paid, and rightly conclude that they are idiots.

Saturday, 13 July 2013

Worth Fighting For

There can’t be many secondhand-book shops that don’t have a copy of this 1943 Frederick Muller Ltd offering somewhere on their shelves:


Many of the rivers featured are actually in Wales, but no matter – its purpose was simply to say, ‘This is the kind of thing we’re fighting for.’ Here’s a typical sample:


The photographer, John Dixon-Scott (with a hyphen, apparently), spent much of the 1930s travelling around Britain, recording its fast-vanishing landscape. The result was a collection of more than 14,000 photographs, now held at The National Archives in Kew.
Who Fletcher Allen was I have no idea.

Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Not So Fast...

I’ve not had much luck trawling book fairs, and things were looking typically bleak the other day when a visit to the annual fair in a nearby village hall looked like drawing another blank. Someone did have a first edition Nineteen Eighty-Four on offer, but I was put off by the tatty dust jacket – not to mention the £350 price tag. Finding nothing affordable at eye level, I resorted to rummaging in the ‘bargain boxes’ on the floor, where finally I found this tatty Scholastic Book Services, New York offering for the princely sum of a pound:


A children's book published in 1970, it celebrates the Apollo 11 moon landing, and gushes with enthusiasm about the immediate future of space exploration. ‘For space explorers,’ it says, ‘anything is possible.’ It shows the proposed landing sites of future Apollo missions, up to and including Apollo 20 – Apollo 17, in 1972, would actually be the last – and speculates that permanent moon colonies could be established, and the first manned landings made on Mars, by the early 1980s…

Monday, 17 June 2013

Old at Heart

I’ve loved ‘Brother Blair’ – aka George Orwell – since I was in short trousers, but there’s no denying he was a bit of a doom merchant; as he himself wrote of T. S. Eliot – in Inside the Whale (1940) – he achieves ‘the difficult feat of making modern life out to be worse than it is.’ My favourite Orwell – one of my all-time favourite books, indeed – is Coming Up For Air (1939), from which I briefly quoted in a previous post ('Gold from the Forties'). I must re-read it on average every couple of years, and I’ve owned the same copy since 1977:


Orwell wrote it while convalescing in Morocco, and in essence it is a lament for a lost England, his childhood England of 1913. If you’ve read it you’ll know it’s full of lovingly detailed descriptions of fishing on the Thames and in farm ponds. But here’s the thing. Orwell decries the state of the country’s rivers and streams, wondering if there are any fish in them anymore, and bemoans the filling in and building over of farm ponds. And yet every generation utters the same cry. In the 1970s, in his column in Angling Times, Dick Walker regularly harked back to the 1930s as a time when England’s rivers and streams were full of thumping great roach and dace and chub and there was a rudd-packed pond on every farm. I guess that at a certain age we all look back on the past with misty eyes. It’s just that it seems Orwell reached that age rather earlier than most.


Wednesday, 5 June 2013

Fossil-Hunting Seventies-Style

A couple of posts back (‘Wish I’d Written That’) I made gentle fun of an overly optimistic guide to beachcombing from the 1970s. Here is an altogether more realistic practical guide from the same era, one published by Kestrel Books, a Penguin imprint, in 1977:


The authors tell you EXACTLY where to find what at various sites around the English coast. One such site is Warden Point on the Isle of Sheppey, where the road plunges straight into the sea due to the rapidly eroding clay cliffs – cliffs, note the authors, that can be extremely dangerous after heavy rain. Forewarned is forearmed, so I made sure my two eldest, Jessie and Jimmy, together with their friends Josh and Majella, all wore wellies when I took them fossil-hunting there one rainy day back when they were little. Striding down the steep slope, bucket in one hand, trowel in the other, Majella plunged straight into a mass of waist-deep gloop. After much heaving and hauling we finally managed to extract her not only from the mud but from her boots, which remain buried there to this day, fossils of the far future, and undeterred we all carried on down to the beach, where we became so absorbed in our fossil-hunting that we were almost cut off by the flooding tide (something else, to be fair, that the authors warn about). It was but the first of many happy expeditions to sites recommended in this marvellous little book – a book the like of which, I’m sure, would never be published now, not least for reasons of health and safety!

Monday, 27 May 2013

One of the Best

The name Clive Smith won’t mean anything to anyone outside match fishing, but this 1970s giant of the sport penned one of its most enduringly readable and informative titles, a 1982 offering from the same Newton Abbot outfit I championed in my previous post:


Smith outlines the detailed and often cunning planning that went into his greatest individual and team victories – skipper of the mighty Birmingham team of the 1970s, he was especially renowned for his tactical nous – but in the final chapter he writes frankly of the crushing failure he experienced as a member of the England team fishing in front of a home crowd in the 1981 World Championships. In the same year his book was published he was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, and died, but he remains a giant in my eyes.

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Wish I'd Written That

Do you remember the 1970s, when books worth reading were published? I grew up by the sea, and have always prided myself on my beachcombing prowess – it helps pass the time when fishing and catching nowt (a default state of affairs in my case) – so this little guide from 1972, with illustrations by Robert Gillmor, naturally caught by eye when applying the same powers of perusal to the shelves of a second-hand book shop one day:


It’s just one of many excellent titles published over the years by David & Charles of Newton Abbot in Devon since the company was founded in 1960 by David St John Thomas and the late Charles Hadfield. As for the author, of the BBC’s Natural History Unit fame, there was a time when he was almost never off our screens. You can’t help but admire his optimism. ‘Succeeding tides may uncover and reveal coins lower down the beach,’ he writes, ‘and if you choose the right place you may be rewarded with gold, or with a genuine Spanish piece-of-eight.’ On the opposite page to this pearl of wisdom is a picture of a boy and his dog looking at an old television set lying upside down in the water’s edge.

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Those Were the Days

I shudder to think how many words have been penned on the Apollo moon missions – I’ve edited a fair few myself – but it must run into the millions. I think it was Brian Aldiss who said that people won’t ever solve their problems by going into space, but just take them with them. Even so, no one can deny the staggering achievements of NASA in the 1960s and early ‘70s, and the extraordinary bravery of the Apollo astronauts. Two of my favourite books – though strictly speaking they belong to my oldest brother… – are two of the many titles published in the months following the first moon landing. This one came out within 72 hours of splashdown:



This next one is considerably shorter, but punches well above its weight: 


Ryan notes how NASA ‘spent thousands of dollars designing an electric razor with a vacuum cleaner attached to prevent the spacecraft from becoming filled with weightless whiskers, but, as the Apollo 8 crew [Frank Borman, James Lovell, William Anders] demonstrated, shaving foam and a safety razor work just as well...’

Friday, 3 May 2013

An Appropriated Penguin

I was sorting out some books earlier and found this slinky little number, which I’d forgotten I had (actually, I think I may originally have ‘found’ it on Anna’s shelves):


Published in 1939, it was the very first in the King Penguin series, which ended in 1959. King Penguins were the first hardcovers Penguin published, though only those after 1949 had dust jackets. They were also the first Penguins with colour printing. Talking of which, the plates in this one, from John Gould’s The Birds of Great Britain (1873), are fabulous:


Looks like I might have to start collecting the other 75 titles in the series. Or maybe I’ll just look out for no.11, Fishes of Britain’s Rivers and Lakes.

Thursday, 2 May 2013

Rivers, Books, Fishing…

…three of the great loves of my life. How I envy, then, the chap in this brief Pathé News film clip from 1940…

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

'Calm was the Day...'

‘In the early days of 1939 there arose in me a great desire to find peace beside a river.’ So wrote Irish author and artist Robert Gibbings (1889–1958). And the river in question?


First published in 1940, it is illustrated throughout with his own sublime engravings. The great thing about Gibbings is that many second-hand copies of his books are now on the market (sadly reflecting the recent demise of their original owners, no doubt). The titles alone are so evocative: Coming Down the Wye (1942), Lovely is the Lee (1944), Sweet Cork of Thee (1951), Coming Down the Seine (1953). Gibbings also had a love affair with the South Seas, resulting in such titles as A True Tale of Love in Tonga (1935), Coconut Island (1936), Blue Angels and Whales (1938), and Over the Reefs (1948). But it’s the Thames I most associate him with, and in 1945 Pathé captured his intimate relationship with the river on film for all time, free to view at
He completed his own homage to the Thames (and Spenser) in 1957…


Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Feeding the Addiction

Just as I start panicking when reserve supplies of Tabasco sauce in the kitchen cupboard are down to one bottle, so I get nervous if I haven’t added to my small pile of unread second-hand books in more than a few days. Which is a roundabout way of saying I can feel a trawl coming on. I always try to keep an open mind when looking in second-hand book shops. That way, the books find me, and not vice-versa. I always pull out volumes whose titles aren’t on the spine or cover. Most of the time they disappoint, but just occasionally they pleasantly surprise. The test I apply, if a book is within my price range, is to ask myself if I will regret not buying it when I get home. Sometimes I say no, and kick myself later. The only thing then is to go back a.s.a.p. and hope it’s still there…

Monday, 29 April 2013

Theory and Practice

I’ve read quite a few books by former cricketers over the years, some good, some not so good, but this one from 2003 is far and away the best I've come across:


It’s the intelligent former England captain’s dry and often self-deprecating sense of humour that makes this such a good read. The day before England's group game against Pakistan in Karachi in the 1996 World Cup, self-styled supremo Raymond Illingworth, fretting about the Pakistan spinners, called a team meeting and demanded of the largely jaded gathering, ‘Who can pick Mushie [Mushtaq Ahmed]?’:
Out of the silence a lone hand, belonging to Dermot Reeve, offered itself. Reeve went on to espouse his theories about sweeping and reverse sweeping Mushtaq. The next day Mushtaq bowled Reeve a googly; Reeve advanced down the wicket, aimed a huge drive through extra-cover and was comprehensively bowled through the gate.
[England duly lost]
In fact, now I’ve got it down from the shelf and reminded myself just how good it is, I’m going to have to read it right through once again.

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Newman's Theory of Relativity

An old school friend from the early 1970s put a frightening thought into my head yesterday. We have been reminiscing about some of our old teachers who were veterans of the Second World War, and who included a couple of Majors and a Colonel as I recall, and he pointed out that more time had passed since we knew them than between the end of the war and then. The point being that aging is a bit like the inverse square law in reverse, or something (it’s late, and my brain’s a bit befuddled). In other words, as you get older, the past gets closer. So we all end up looking back fondly on a time before we were even born! Well, I do, anyway…

Saturday, 27 April 2013

Gold from the Forties

'Fishing is the opposite of war.' So wrote George Orwell in Coming up for Air (1939). Apropos of this, I found this treasure, called My River, by Wilfred Gavin Brown, in a second-hand book shop the other day...


No dust jacket, but I love the kingfisher. Published in 1947, it’s a ramble by the riverside, the author finding escape from wartime London by resuming his childhood hobby of coarse fishing on the rivers and streams of Surrey. He recalls sitting on his favourite stretch one evening, watching a duck fly overhead: ‘The peace was suddenly broken by a shattering roar, and from behind the dike of the reservoir three Spitfires zoomed over my head and also flew into the west, where the sun turned their wings to bronze. Beautiful birds of death, they seemed a symbol of the future when youth will increasingly search for beauty among the sun-tipped mountains of the clouds and the starlit, blue valleys of the skies, but it is to be hoped that the old, more familiar loveliness will not quite be forsaken – the loveliness of wood, hill, and quiet river.’ The line drawings by Reginald Lionel Knowles aren’t bad either…


And thanks to the internet, I won’t go to my grave wondering what the dust jacket looked like…



Friday, 26 April 2013

Musings of an Old Technophobe

Apologies for the absence, but I finally killed my laptop. Not this one, obviously, but my old one. It was something of a mercy killing, in that it had been on its last legs for some time – since I slammed my fist down on its keyboard a few months back, in fact, leaving it somewhat dented and temperamental. When not freezing, it developed the alarming opposite habit of sprouting duplicate windows faster than I could shut them down, until the screen looked like an infinite pack of cards. Then, the other day, its dust-clogged fan started whining like a Stuka in full nose-dive, at which I had the bright idea of getting the Hoover out and vacuuming it. This sorted out the whining problem, alright, and I had a few blissfully quiet operational minutes – until the damn thing overheated and shut itself down. Yep, I’d bust the fan for good. Perhaps giving it a good shake would get it going again. Nope. (Nor would banging it against the side of the desk.) It was now me against the machine – how much data could I retrieve in each ten-minutes-every-hour window between switching it on and it switching itself off and having to be left to cool down again? Not very much, it turned out. (No, I hadn’t backed everything up...) But finally I got there, and so off I went to the shops, and back I came with a brand-spanking new super-duper (budget) model. Which was great – except, bright spark that I am, I couldn’t work out how to access any files. Back at the shop the somewhat bemused assistant tactfully guided me in the direction of the ‘file explorer’ icon. ‘Ah,’ I said, ‘I wondered what that was.’ What an idiot…

Monday, 22 April 2013

Something 'Borrowed'...

Lend a book to a friend and the chances are you either never see it again or it looks like they've been playing football with it when you finally get it back. Things are more complicated with siblings. I have had a long-running tug-of-war with my sister over the ownership of various books that are family heirlooms, including this one, an absolute gem from the 1960s that any Fleming fan should be ashamed not to have read (and a companion piece to New Maps of Hell, discussed in an earlier post):


It  proudly boasts her signature inside – yet has sat equally proudly on my bookshelves, not hers, for some years now. (Though I'm pretty sure there are more of my books on her shelves than there are hers on mine...  )

Sunday, 21 April 2013

So Many Books, So Little Time

Every day, the list of books one would like to read grows longer. The latest addition to my own such list is Megan Shephard's The Madman's Daughter  (just published by Harper Voyager), the madman in question being H.G. Wells's Doctor Moreau. The Island of Doctor Moreau (1896) is Wells's masterpiece, and stands alongside Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1818) and Bram Stoker's Dracula (1897). If you haven't read any of them, do – ditto Moreau's Other Island (1980), Frankenstein Unbound (1973) and Dracula Unbound (1991), all by Brian Aldiss. Then read The Madman's Daughter and report back, because at the rate my list is growing I won't live long enough to read it myself.

Saturday, 20 April 2013

No Helping Some People

Some people swallow just about any conspiracy theory, monster myth or ridiculous bit of pseudoscience they come across. Back in the 90s I worked with an otherwise very nice chap who had caught the Erich von Däniken bug and believed every word he wrote. I failed to convince him von Däniken was an insult to serious academics, so I pressed this nice little debunking volume on him (first published in 1976) and urged him to read it:


A week or so later he handed it back unopened. (Another nice little debunker, incidentally, is this one, first published in 1984:


And no, I don't suppose it's on sale at the Loch Ness visitor centre.)

Friday, 19 April 2013

'Finding Myself Up My Own Arse'

One of my pet hates is non-fiction that, whatever the purported subject matter, is actually all about the author's 'journey of discovery': in other words, all about the author. All authors are vain, but writing about oneself in the guise of something else is pure conceit. Judging from the number of such books published, though, they obviously sell, so what the hell do I know? (I can see the blurb now... 'In Finding the Weretiger, Patrick Newman tells the self-indulgent true story of how he bummed around Asia with his head up his arse looking for an elusive mancat – and instead found himself.' Something along those lines, anyway.)

Thursday, 18 April 2013

A Glimpse of Old England

When I go fishing I have to make do with tea from a flask, hastily made while in my usual groggy early morning state. Things were obviously different for those who could afford servants in the old days...


The lady angler on the right in this photograph from 1900 is a study in concentration as she waits for a bite on the Darenth River – a chalk stream, and then a prime trout fishery for the well-heeled – near Dartford in Kent. But I wonder what the maid bringing a tray of refreshments on the left was thinking?

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Nice of You to Tell Me

Charity shops are pretty depressing places, and trying to scan their grotty bookshelves over someone's shoulder – there's always someone in your way – can be pretty soul destroying, but every now and then you find a diamond among the dross and suddenly it all seems worthwhile. So it was that I recently found this little gem, first published in 1954:


It's the diary an Australian nurse secretly and very bravely kept while interned by the Japanese in Sumatra from 1942 until the end of the war. By the time her camp was liberated she weighed less than six stone. But, she survived. So many others didn't. A mile away was the men's camp. With the war lost, the Japanese announced that internees with husbands and fathers there could visit them. Excitedly they all got ready, women and children alike. Then the Japanese called out the names of all those who needn't bother... 

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

An Englishman's Home...

Some men with a big yellow digger turned up the other day to demolish the 1930s house across the road. From my desk I had a grandstand view, and I was just thinking 'I must get myself one of those' while wondering idly how long the job would take when the operator no more than nudged one corner of the building, just below the roof, and the whole edifice collapsed in a sorry heap like a brick soufflé. What's worrying is that my own house is virtually the condemned one's twin. I'll have to go gently with the hammer next time I hang a picture.

Monday, 15 April 2013

Pretty Much Irreplaceable

The house is on fire, I've rescued my cats and fishing tackle, and there's just enough time to grab one book off the shelves before my entire library goes up in flames. But which one? (No, not my own...) Here it is:


Doesn't look much, does it? Indeed, it's a pretty grotty 1980 Charter, New York paperback. But since I first found it in a second-hand book shop in the mid-1980s, A Rude Awakening has remained my favourite book, and Aldiss my favourite author. First published in 1978, it is the third in the semi-autobiographical 'Horatio Stubbs' trilogy – after The Hand-Reared Boy (1970) and A Soldier Erect (1971) – and sees Aldiss at the very peak of his powers. The setting is Sumatra in 1946. Stubbs is a squaddie, a veteran of the Burma campaign with only days to go before he returns to Blighty. He determines to marry his Chinese girlfriend and take her with him, but events conspire against him. In a particularly memorable passage, he finds himself powerless to save a Dutch friend from summary execution by Indonesian freedom fighters. The game is up for Stubbs, and for the British out East.

Sunday, 14 April 2013

I Must Get Out More

Sometimes I go to Google Maps, zoom in on satellite view to Crowland Bridge on the wide River Welland in the heart of the Lincolnshire fens, switch to street view, then ride with the cameraman along the riverside road. Sometimes I go upstream, along what was once the golden stretch to draw for those elusive bream in the big matches of the 1960s and 70s – we're talking up to 1,500 entrants here – and try to work out where the famous 'Willows' swim was, the landmark far bank tree having long since been cut down. And sometimes I head downstream, towards Spalding, until the road leaves the river around Four Mile Bar. Up or down, the banks are deserted, as they have been for years, the days of big river match fishing, like the willow, being long gone now. But either way, first off I always zoom right in on the stone memorial to match fishing legend Ivan Marks, the undisputed 'King of the Welland,' placed by the bridge following his death in 2004 – as if somehow it might have changed since the last time I viewed it.

Saturday, 13 April 2013

The Best by Test

A few years back I went through a phase of collecting first editions of some of my favourite books, but pretty soon I realized this wasn't really for me. For one thing, later editions are often better. Take Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea. I am lucky enough to own a reasonable condition UK first edition (Jonathan Cape, 1952), given to me one Christmas, with extraordinary generosity, by a dear old friend after I spotted it lurking on their bookshelves and pointed it out to them with none too subtle admiration:


Now, I'm very happy to own it, and I do like the cover, which is much jazzier than the US first edition (Scribners, 1952), but I was just as thrilled to find a 1953 Reprint Society edition for a few pence at a village fête one summer, even though it had long since lost its dust jacket, because this edition is full of the most wonderful illustrations, some by Raymond Sheppard...


and some by C. F. [Charles Frederick] Tunnicliffe, like this one (a colour-tinted variant of which actually featured on the missing dust jacket)...


When I think about it, though - and this is the other reason collecting first editions isn't really for me - my all-time favourite copy of The Old Man and the Sea, one long since passed on to my son, is the cheap, nondescript, 'worthless' paperback edition I bought many years ago when I first got into Hemingway, the one that gave me the priceless pleasure of reading this marvellous little book for the first ever time.

Friday, 12 April 2013

Who Reads This Rubbish?

An old friend pestered me repeatedly for a free copy of Weretiger until finally I caved in, even though one of his proudest boasts is that he's never read a book in his life. "I promise you, Pat, if it's the only book I read this side of the grave, I will read it," he said in all earnestness. That was before Christmas. He hasn't looked at it yet, and I don't expect he ever will. Meanwhile a very close family member, bless him, proudly bought a copy as soon as it came out, though I had told him I would send him one. Six weeks later I couldn't wait any longer and asked him what he thought. "I've got as far as the acknowledgements," he replied in all seriousness. I haven't bothered asking again, though really, I shouldn't grumble – he did pay for it, after all.

Thursday, 11 April 2013

That's Me Put in My Place

In 1960, in New Maps of Hell, Kingsley Amis took a characteristically wry look at the Science Fiction scene. It is a little treasure well worth searching for (if a somewhat hastily researched one), and in a nod to Amis in the early 1970s old friends and collaborators Brian Aldiss and Harry Harrison put together Hell's Cartographers (1975), which gives some fascinating insights into the professional lives and working practices of a number of top SF writers of the time:


As always, Harry Harrison, who sadly died last year, is particularly good value, recalling his mother-in-law once putting her head round the door while he was trying to write and saying, "Harry, since you aren't doing anything, would you go to the store for me?" He also writes, "When people ask me 'how is the book coming?' I can respond only by blinking a glassy eye and muttering 'which one?'" I was thinking about this the other day, while helping a friend on a gardening job (writers like me must take whatever work they can get). I've been researching a couple of ideas for another book lately, plus he often asks about Weretiger sales – I think he expects them to hit the million mark any day now – so when he said, "How's the book going?" I felt fully justified in stealing Harrison's line. Back home that evening a family friend rang. "Hi Pat, I was wondering if you could do a few hours weeding for me. Loved your book, by the way..."

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Patent Pending

Yesterday afternoon my dearly beloved announced that she was going to make one of her famous carrot cakes. Now I ought to make clear at this juncture that Anna is a bona fide cordon bleu cook, albeit one with her own  take on recipes. Anyway, there was the usual flurry of pots and pans, and pretty soon the cake was in the oven. A while later there was a loud thud as she upended the tin and the very solid contents hit the cooling rack with all the grace of a house brick. This, I thought, does not bode well at all. When the brick had cooled sufficiently, she sawed herself a thin slice and took a tentative bite. "Oh dear," she said, "Something seems to have gone wrong. It doesn't taste right at all. Would you like to try some?" Declining her kind offer, I turned my attentions back to the fire I was trying to get going in the grate, from which only the merest  whisper of smoke was emanating. Moments later came the second loud thud of the day as Anna unceremoniously bunged her cake brick on top of the smouldering wood. I was just about to remonstrate when I saw a slip of flame curl out from underneath the base of her offering. Two hours later it was still burning nicely. I think she may have inadvertently invented a new form of solid fuel.

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Says It All, Really

On a day when the selfish and greedy wail and gnash their teeth over the death of a woman with a heart of stone, I'd like to address the more important issue of evocative book titles. Take this one from 1927, by Hubert Banner - Romantic Java. Not bad, is it? You don't even have to open it to know it won't let you down. The 1940s and 50s saw a glut of books about daring wartime escapades with some wonderfully stirring titles: Beyond the Chindwin (1945), The Jungle is Neutral (1949), Boldness Be My Friend (1953), They Fought Alone (1958). Great stuff to have on your shelves when you're a hopeless old nostalgic like me. A shortlist of my all-time favourite book titles would have to include Knut Hamsun's Hunger (1890) – so much yearning expressed in just one word – Hugh Clifford's homage to old Malaya The Further Side of Silence (1916), Philip Woodruff/Mason's novel of colonial India The Wild Sweet Witch (1947), Arthur Mizener's biography of Scott Fitzgerald The Far Side of Paradise (1951), and Howard Fast's zany SF short-story collection The General Zapped an Angel (1969). But top of the list, I think, would be a 1941 title that I'm fairly certain the late leaderene never got around to reading...


Monday, 8 April 2013

Silly Billy

In January 2009, police in Kwara State in Nigeria astounded local journalists by solemnly parading before them, as the chief suspect in the attempted theft of a Mazda car ... a goat - one handed in to them by a gang of vigilantes who claimed it was a actually a man who turned himself into the animal after they caught him trying to steal the vehicle. The police eventually decided not to charge the goat, instead sensibly cashing in on its celebrity status by selling it for 300 Nigerian dollars. And if you don't believe me, see
and

Sunday, 7 April 2013

Shot Down in Flames

It never ceases to annoy me how many 'new' non-fiction titles there are on the same old subjects. Obviously, publishers like to play it safe, knowing what sells, but too many such books are simply derivative hackwork. Granted, occasionally someone has something genuinely new to say, has a fresh angle, or is a real expert. If I could restore a Spitfire to full working order, for instance, I'd expect the right publisher to take me seriously if I proposed a 'How To' guide. But I know for sure what would happen were I to wake up one morning and think, "I know, I'll write a book telling the remarkable true story of how an amazing plane called the Spitfire won the Battle of Britain against all odds," then were to send off a proposal along those lines...


Saturday, 6 April 2013

Werebeast Erotica, Anyone?

I see that Alara Branwen, author of such essential little ebooks as Banging the Werebear and Gangbang of the Werewolves, has written another mighty tome - all 28 pages of it - called ... wait for it ... With the Weretiger. (Yes, I've been 'egosurfing' again.) Come on, Alara, surely you could have thought of a better title than that?! (No, I can't think of one either.)

Friday, 5 April 2013

Reluctant Congregation


In 1906, Methodist missionary Archibald McMillan - seen here with a man-eating leopard he has just shot dead - recalled passing through a remote aboriginal village in central India one time in the 1890s and telling the headman he would come back the following day, sing some hymns and give the villagers the Good News. "To my surprise," he wrote,"on arriving [the next morning] I found the place deserted, the entire population having fled into the jungle!"

Thursday, 4 April 2013

California Dreaming

I've only ever really been interested in the past (which is probably why I'm so hopeless at such mundane matters as earning a living). History to me means the untold stories of ordinary people. When I see old film footage, for instance, my eye is always drawn to passers-by, people in the background, faces in the crowd. I'll be watching an episode of The Rockford Files, say, and in the distance - too far away for them to be an extra - there'll be someone strolling along the beach of Paradise Cove. Who were they, I'll wonder, what did they do, and what became of them? But above all I'll be thinking, 'How I wish that was me!'

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Order, Order!

I hate books. I've come to this startling realization after yet another failed attempt to organize my bookshelves. Just when I think, say, I've got all my Hemingways (books by and about) lined up together, I find a rogue volume that's ever so slightly too tall to fit, so it has to go on another, taller shelf. (Warning - crap doodle follows...)


The end result is I can never find anything (a problem compounded by varifocals - fellow wearers will understand). The thing with bookshelves is, you want as many as possible, but you have to make do with fewer, taller ones just so you can accommodate the occasional outsize volumes that some antisocial publishers will insist on publishing. (As for books that also stick out over the edges of shelves, don't get me started.) Paper comes in standard sizes, so why can't books? 

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Carpe Diem?

Frederick Hicks, a Forest Officer in India, kept a diary. His entry for 15 March 1887? “Camp Sark—shot 2 tigers before breakfast.”

In Mysore in 1872, when aged 24, famed elephant-catcher George Sanderson once shot three leopards and a wild cat before breakfast. As he recalled: “We had had a capital morning’s sport. The arrangement had been perfect; the shooting had been—ahem! I will leave my readers to judge; nothing, even to the cat, had escaped us; and all this before ten o’clock!”

Personally, I'm not at my best first thing in the morning.

Monday, 1 April 2013

One in the Eye

I rather like the idea of getting your own back on someone simply by sticking pins in a doll:


Trouble is, such sympathetic magic (or any other kind of magic, for that matter) only works - through the very great power of suggestion - on people who genuinely fear it, and almost by definition that means the poor and downtrodden, not the rich and powerful. What we need, then, is some means of mass hypnosis whereby we can convince the bastards who actually deserve to be shafted that witchcraft really works. Then the rest of us can all go to bed happy for once.

Changing tack, as someone with an unhealthy interest in both fishing and tigers, this caught my eye while I was trawling the sewernet for something else last night:


it is "set among the louche world of Hanoi's expatriate community" and is all about "a woman struggling with the morality of finding peace in a war-haunted city, personal fulfilment in the midst of poverty and sexual joy with a vulnerable youth."

Not what it says on the tin, then.

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Signs of the Times

Ads in old publications can tell you more about the times they were printed in than the actual contents. Take this one, on the back cover of the January 1935 issue of the popular American magazine Asia (click on it to enlarge and read):


Talk about the emptiness of the American dream.

Another great ad from the same period is one for Peter Dawson whisky published in the Singapore Straits Times in 1936. I can't show it here for copyright reasons, but check it out at
and I'm sure you'll agree with me it's a beaut.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Of Books and Bream

Rummaging in second-hand book shops is one of the great pleasures in life, but when it comes to finding that elusive title you've been after for years, at an affordable price, the internet has been an absolute Godsend. Buying things through the post is another of life's great pleasures, anyway.

One of my most treasured old books, one I found rummaging a few years back, is this 1962 Belmont Books paperback edition of a title first published in 1956 by John Day:


It's a great read – a 'must' for any Miller fan – but I love it as much for its stylish cover as its content.

One scarce and hence usually quite expensive book that I knew about for years before eventually finding an underpriced copy online is this one, published by Adam & Charles Black in 1966:


I have been a lifelong coarse-fishing addict, bream are probably my favourite fish, and much of this book is about 'the old days' on perhaps my favourite venue, the Thames at Medley in Oxford, so Bream Fever ticks a lot of boxes for me.

Talking of fishing at Medley, here's a lovely old postcard of a painting by pre-First World War artist Alex Austen:


And no, that's not me in the boat – though I wish it was.